The Gunslinger, Part 4 - Why Are You Telling Me This Story?

May 30, 2018
00:0000:00

Birds fight the elderly on the looooongest ROLAND WITH MY HOMIES yet!

Roland tells Jake the most inappropriate story about the time a Wizard porked his mom, The Man in Black tells Roland a story about what the universe is made out of when Stephen King falls asleep during Intro to Geek Cosmology class, and Josh asks Danielle and Mike, "What IS the Dark Tower?" Their response is a Ka-Babbie CLASSIC!! Come one, come all (but only really if you've read THE GUNSLINGER), step right up to the STRANGEST Dark Tower Book Club Podcast OF THEM ALL (and there are like twelve)!!!

(and I don't listen to any of them [sorry])

 

DISCUSSED:

00:00:36 This is the first time we say "Roland With My Homies" on the podcast and Mike really puts some stank on it.
00:01:39 How Long Are We Going to Take on The Stand?
00:02:30 Danielle could not be more wrong about what The Stand isn't
00:03:26 Phallic DIck
00:05:14 Begin Previously On
00:05:36 Mike thinks it's really important to name the desert every time.   
00:06:35 Danielle says 80's when she means 70's
00:06:54 Seduction implies consent. I'm not sure if there's an argument and if so which side Mike is on.
00:07:58 Begin Chapter 4
00:08:33 Marten and Roland use sex as a weapon similarly
00:10:29 Let's talk about the cotillion
00:14:32 The hips don't lie
00:16:58 Bar Mitzvah and other meaningless ceremony (Josh has a series-level core insight about one of SK's dominant themes)
00:20:53 This conversation takes place before an earlier conversation in Episode 02 - The Curious Case of Episode Two.
00:22:54 Why did Roland tell Jake this story?
00:23:52 Racism. Also, King of the Hill Reference
00:24:38 Roland catches Marten Nasty
00:27:24 Shakespeare ref
00:28:48 He who White Knights on Twitter has forgotten the face of his father
00:31:09 More Bar Mitzvah Talk and Proving
00:37:17 Commercial Breakdown (we still like this joke)
00:38:11 Is the cuckoldry directed at Roland or Steven?
00:40:31 Society crumbles on Steven's watch
00:41:10 Cort pleads with Roland
00:42:10 I stopped counting the instances of "bitch" but it's pretty rough.
00:43:07 Roland chooses a living thing as his weapon
00:44:10 Again, Roland is telling this to Jake
00:45:10 A Fist Full of Talons (it's an eagle not a hawk)
00:46:29 David's name
00:48:53 Macanahey's great line reads
00:53:02 Mike is wrong about the slow mutants not being referenced later
00:53:52 Brief Beneath the Planet of the Apes Discussion
00:55:07 The gang try admirably to riff on the concept of Slow Mutants
00:57:47 Josh asks "what does the tower mean??"
01:00:23 The Dark Tower Sounds Like Shit
01:05:26 We recommend a bunch of movies and poetry, including "The Second Coming" which will be super important in The Stand
01:10:22 Josh doesn't love Jake. Josh saying "We use our friends to bounce things off of" goes uncommented upon.
01:12:51 Danielle refuses to stop aging Jake down
01:19:52 May Nixon rot in hell
01:23:19 Roland is With Her
01:23:45 Chapter 5: The Gunslinger and the Man in Black
01:24:21 Some great singing here
01:28:39 TO suggest an ending is the one absurdity
01:29:27 Walter's Master comes to him in his dreams, but Roland is his climax
01:35:06 Little drunk, Mike has kind of run out of analytical gas at this point
01:35:52 We can't stop injecting politics into an otherwise inoffensive podcast!
01:37:52 One of the homies has listened to Dolly Parton's autobiography on audiobook in the shower
01:39:11 Sayin' the B-word, hope you can handle it
01:41:17 We Fan-Cast the Dark Tower movie, but Roland's mom HAS to be Dolly
01:42:43 Reference: Final Fantasy XIII (insert Lightning Youtube clip)
01:46:05 ???

NEXT TIME: We enjoy a sexy vampire convalesence as Roland and the Homies go up against their insecurites and "THE LITTLE SISTERS OF ELURIA"!!  

 

Music: The Freeharmonic Orchestra

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[the only podcast I listen to is The Weeds on Vox and that's because I got confused about the title]